Half Birthday! Olivia is 2 1/2!!

I can't believe that Olivia is 2 1/2 today! 6 months until she is 3 years old.  We can't believe how big she is getting! I went through her clothes the other night in her closet and pulled out some things that don't fit. Her vocabulary is growing so fast and she says the funniest things sometimes! She is running and jumping like you wouldn't believe.  She has stopped with the whiny stage for now.  Probably her most grumpy time is after her nap and she is a little grouchy for awhile.  I would say she is about 90% potty trained.  There are good days and bad.  We have had more good days lately than bad (maybe it is the Cinderella underwear!).  She is still a pretty picky eater and now with her tree nut allergies some things she used to like are off limit.  But we have found plenty of foods that she can eat.  This girl loves to play...things hold her attention for awhile if she is really into it. We are so happy when she is happy!

This morning we went to dance class.  Maybe it was the full moon but not one of the little girls wanted to listen to the teacher today.  The best part of the class is the jumping over the butterflies! That part everyone listened and jumped! We had a great lunch watching football and spent a rainy afternoon having fun.  Olivia tried asparagus tonight and she ate it! I think it is weird she will eat stuff like that but hates things like pizza and chicken nuggets...but whatever she ate asparagus! We are back on the Charlie Brown kick and watched The Great Pumpkin tonight (we watched the Thanksgiving last night). 

I am 2 and 1/2 and I don't want my picture taken before dance class!

All the pictures came out blurry today...too bad she wouldn't do this dance move all class when she was supposed to!

Super Reader and New Monitor

I caught her in her bed being a super reader.  I borrowed this from school...Cinderella of course!

I was also sad today...we had to stop using our FABULOUS baby monitor that we have had for 9 years! We used this when Jake was a puppy so we could hear him downstairs.  A few weeks ago the plug to the parent part of the monitor stopped working.  We have been using batteries and if we tried really hard we could get the plug to work (it literally was hanging out of the plug on the wall).  So we finally got a new one.  Not sure if I like it though...it is voice activated so unless there is a noise we don't hear anything...which could be good and bad!

Feeling a bit better today...just wish I could exercise! I am missing one of my favorite runs tomorrow!

55

Well that is the new number of my blood test results.  So I went from a 70 on a Monday to a 55 today. Which is good that it is decreasing.  I have to go back next Tuesday for more blood work and hope to have another drop.  I am really trying to stay positive and optimistic...it is hard at times though.  I am feeling better a little bit at a time.  I have not woken up with sandpaper mouth in 2 days.  That was one of the worst things...I now know what it is like to wake up in a desert with no water...it is horrible.  I even felt better to make dinner last night, I still am getting tired at times but not as exhausted and I am sleeping better at night too. 

Olivia woke up bright and early at 5 a.m.  It is a Susan day so I was getting in the shower anyways.  She said, "I am done sleeping!" of course with a smile.  Well that is great...I am thinking it is the bright Harvest Moon.  We saw the moon most of the way to Susan's house and I must have said Harvest Moon a million times and finally tonight before bed she asked to see the Harvest Moon.  Too bad it was behind the trees...I would have taken her outside but we have these huge yucky spiders outside... not sure if they are those orb spiders but they are making huge beautiful webs.  We had one on our bathroom window outside and I thought it disappeared....but I looked up tonight and there were 2 big yucky spiders on a web between the house and the apple trees....ewww...makes me shiver. 

A tiny bit better

Well I felt a tiny bit better today.  I thought I would still be sore when I woke up but I wasn't! My legs felt better and that nagging soreness on my left side was not as significant as it has been.  So I felt better...and I felt I had more energy today but I also feel really bloated today...I know I drank a ton of water for my blood work yesterday and today so that may be it.  I don't know if these are good signs or bad.  I went for my blood work at 12, so hopefully I will know something by tomorrow afternoon.  I do have to say I am overwhelmed and thankful for the love and support of people.  My coworkers have been phenomenal with checking on me, praying for us, and wanting to do anything they can.  I truly do work at a special place for people to show that much care and concern.  It is all well appreciated!

Today was Shawn's birthday so we made him some chocolate chip cookie bars and Olivia helped with a card.  I have to say I am pretty impressed with what she drew on the front of the card...a face- with 2 eyes, a mouth and hair! We hope he enjoyed his treats and had a great birthday!

70

70. Right now you are my least favorite number.  My test results came back from yesterday and as expected my level rose from a 55 from last Wednesday to a 70 today.  I am not a happy camper at the moment even though I was prepared for the rise.  It just seems like I am getting farther and farther from zero.  More blood work tomorrow for me...yay...I am so excited. 

I went back to work today.  Right now my body is sore mostly my legs from not walking around too much the past days.  My students were super sweet today and the day dragged as I was waiting for the test results. 

So time for bed for me soon....as soon as Olivia stops crying in her bed...which she is doing right now. 

Feeling a tiny bit better and Give Her the River

I felt a tiny bit better today.  I drove myself to the doctor and I was the one and only patient at 8:15 a.m.! It was weird being there with no other patients.  The nurse called me this afternoon just to check on me and said she would call in the morning with the results. 

Other than some soreness in my left hip area and walking pretty slow at the moment I feel ok.  My plan is to go to work tomorrow.  I will have to see how it goes...I have high hopes for tomorrow.  I am going to bed soon since I never got to rest this afternoon since Olivia didn't want to nap!

Last night before bed Brendon tried to read Olivia the book Giver Her the River...of course she didn't want to read it.  The book is special to us because it came from a special bookstore that no longer exists in Beaufort, SC.  I bought it because of the beautiful cover and bought it before we even knew we were pregnant, and pregnant with a girl.  When we started reading books to Olivia in utero, Brendon grabbed this book one night and read it.  We kind of giggled that I picked the book out and didn't even notice that it says "A father's wish for his daughter." But the book is special to us and of course Olivia wanted to read it tonight.  I cried for a minute or two because I know she doesn't understand why this book is special.  One day she will understand!

Explaining this to a 2 year old, strong and embarrassed

Probably the one person that has really had a hard time with mommy out of commission is Olivia.  I feel awful for her.  I know her poor heart just breaks when I say that I can't do this or play that and that I need to rest.  She has even told me a few times to go take a rest.  But she has adapted well though with all the changes.  She actually goes to bed better and takes a nap longer for Brendon! I don't know what his trick is! But it is pretty magical.  There is a little whiny-ness here and there from her but overall she has been pretty good.  I feel awful that I can't scoop her up and carry her...she has settled for holding my hand and walking with her.  But she has tried taking care of me too! One day we will look back on this time and explain things to her.

At times today I felt really good and other times a little bit on the awful side.  I felt pretty pukey before dinner and now feel a bit crampy.  I am hoping and praying my blood work goes good tomorrow morning even though I expect a rise in my numbers which seems to be the trend with the Methotrexate and that is why I need to have blood work done again on Wednesday.  I am really hoping to go back to work on Tuesday but we will have to see how I feel.

I am really trying to stay strong and not crumble.  Again thank you for all your prayers and support.  It truly means a lot.  Even though at the same time I feel embarrassed at times.  I am embarrassed because this is happening again.  It was bad enough to experience a late miscarriage in 2009 but to have something else happen like this happen again it makes me embarrassed.  At times I feel like my body is a hot mess and it makes me embarrassed and at times a bit self-conscious about myself and how everything always has to be so complicated with it.  I know I am beating myself up right now but that is how I feel.  I know I need to accept this body and all that goes along with it...the good and the bad. So tomorrow I am going to try to smile and try to feel better.