Change of Plans Saturday

We had lots of plans for today...pumpkin patch, the Loganville Autumn Heritage Festival...and that all changed because it rained! Brendon got up really early to go hunting and left a note that it was raining...boo!! So after getting in touch with everyone we decided to go tomorrow to the pumpkin patch.  So we rearranged things for today.  So Olivia and I went shopping at a few places...Hobby Lobby and the Avenue.  She was a great shopper.  She loved Hobby Lobby and all of the Christmas trees! then we stopped at Aldi's really quick to get some snacks she likes there.  Then zoomed home and by this time the rain trickled off and we went to the Loganville Autumn Heritage Festival and got some lunch and picked out pumpkins.  Olivia walked right up to the pumpkins and said, "I want this one!" It is the tiniest pumpkin...and it was $1.00.  If that is the pumpkin she wants then that is ok with us.  Then came home for nap time.  I went for a run and then came home and made an apple pie.  We had dinner and Brendon went back in the woods.  Then Olivia and I had an hour of running to the potty back and forth for her to go poop...she finally went..one hour and 5 minutes later and lots of tears...but she went... on the potty.  I was exhausted...that is a tiring task. But we are excited to go to the pumpkin patch tomorrow!

Wild Nights

Every night after dinner Olivia turns into a wild woman! She runs around chasing Jake and screaming.

Here is a small glimpse of it...

Sorry for the quality of it...I didn't want to turn the light on and then her stop playing...the squirrels have been going a bit wild too in our yard!

Happy 9th Birthday Jake!!

Today is Jake's 9th birthday! I can't believe he has been with us so long.  I still remember bringing him home.  He was so little.  Even though he is 9 he still acts like a puppy.  He loves to get into the garbage, eat Olivia's crayons and sometimes toys, look for squirrels outside, try to steal food from Olivia, and nap.  Even though the hair above his eyes is turning white he is still our Jakey, as Olivia calls him.  Olivia just like us loves him so much.  So much so that she likes to chase him around with her baby stroller and pull his tail.  These activities bring a huge amount of laughter to her but poor Jake! But they do have a great relationship!

Working really hard on Jake's card

Not feeling the best

I am not feeling the best today.  I didn't sleep very well last night.  So today I am really tired and jsut don't feel that well.  My left side area where the Ectopic was is sore today...not sure if it is a phantom pain or just things trying to get back to normal.  I am sure that I am fine though...but going to bed VERY soon.

Olivia and I tried a new mommy and me dance class tonight.  Same results...she practices all her dance moves at home and then in class doesn't want to do anything..! I even tried bribery (I mean positive reinforcement) with stickers.  I told the dance teacher not to give her a sticker until she did some of the moves...but I wanted to teacher her a lesson...don't do the moves...you don't get a sticker either! So she did some of the moves...eventually....

Breaking the Silence- Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.  October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. In 2007 October 15th was designated Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.

Please  remember all babies lost to ectopic, miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS and all Neo-Natal Death. For more information or to see worldwide ceremonies please visit http://www.october15th.com/

Please pass this on. Even if you have not had a loss of some sort, chances are someone you know can benefit from this information.

 

This is an emotional day for many women and families.  And it is just not only today it is emotional, it is an everyday emotion.   I found this helpful information below for people who do not know what to do when an infant loss occurs.  This comes from the Embrace Ministry with the Archdiocese of Atlanta ( http://www.embracefamilies.com/family-friends/ ) 

As friends and family you might find yourself saying, “Help!  I want to support my friend, sister, daughter or son but don’t know what to say or do.”  Here is some advice from your friend, sister, daughter or son…. 
How you can help….
~Please talk about my baby, even though he is gone. It is more comforting to cry than to pretend that he never existed. I need to talk about him, and I need to do it over and over.
~Be patient with my agitation. Nothing feels secure in my world. Get comfortable with my crying. Sadness hits me in waves, and I never know when my tears may flow. Just sit with me in silence and hold my hand.
~Don’t abandon me with the excuse that you don’t want to upset me. You can’t catch my grief. If you don’t know what to say, just come over, give me a hug or touch my arm, and gently say, “I’m sorry.” You can even say, “I just don’t know what to say, but I care, and want you to know that.”
~Just because I look good does not mean that I feel good. Ask me how I feel only if you really have time to find out.
~I am not strong. I’m just numb. When you tell me I am strong, I feel that you don’t see me.
~I will not recover. This is not a cold or the flu. I’m not sick. I’m grieving and that’s different. Don’t think that I will be over it in a month or a year. For I am not only grieving my babies death, but also the person I dreamed they would become.  My whole world has crumbled and I will never be the same.
~I will not always be grieving as intensely, but I will never forget my baby and rather than recover, I want to incorporate his life and love into the rest of my life. The baby is a part of me and always will be, and sometimes I will remember him with joy and other times with a tear. Both are okay.
~I don’t have to accept the death. Yes, I have to understand that it has happened and it is real, but there are some things in life that are just not acceptable.
~When you tell me what I should be doing, then I feel even more lost and alone. I feel badly enough that my baby is dead, so please don’t make it worse by telling me I’m not doing this right.
~Please don’t tell me I can have another baby. I’m not ready. Maybe I don’t want to, or maybe I physically can’t.  And besides, what makes you think people are replaceable? They aren’t. Whoever comes after will always be someone different.
~Please don’t say, “God has a plan, God’s will.”  These have become so much a part of our language of condolence and an automatic response.  To imply that God has given me this cross to bear and I must do so with a minimum of fuss, or a maximum of faith, simply puts more strain on me.
~I don’t even understand what you mean when you say, “You’ve got to get on with your life.” My life is going on, I’ve been forced to take on many new responsibilities and roles. It may not look the way you think it should. This will take time and I will never be my old self again. So please, just love me as I am today, and know that with your love and support, the joy will slowly return to my life. But I will never forget and there will always be times that I cry.
~I need to know that you care about me. I need to feel your touch, your hugs. I need you just to be with me, and I need to be with you. I need to know you believe in me and in my ability to get through my grief in my own way, and in my own time.
~Please don’t say, “Call me if you need anything.” I’ll never call you because I have no idea what I need. Trying to figure out what you could do for me takes more energy than I have. So, in advance, let me give you some ideas:

• (a) Bring food or a movie over to watch together.
• (b) Send me a card on special holidays, the due date of my baby, the anniversary of losing my baby, and be sure to mention the baby and his name. You can’t make me cry. The tears are here and I will love you for giving me the opportunity to shed them because someone cared enough about me to reach out on this difficult day.
• (c) Ask me more than once to join you at a movie or lunch or dinner. I may say no at first or even for a while, but please don’t give up on me because somewhere down the line, I may be ready, and if you’ve given up then I really will be alone.
• (d) Understand how difficult it is for me to be surrounded by babies, to walk into events without my baby, to go home to a quiet house, to feel out of place in the same situations where I used to feel so comfortable.

~Please don’t judge me now – or think that I’m behaving strangely. Remember I’m grieving. I may even be in shock. I am afraid. I may feel deep rage. I may even feel guilty. But above all, I hurt. I’m experiencing a pain unlike any I’ve ever felt before and one that can’t be imagined by anyone who has not walked in my shoes.
~Don’t worry if you think I’m getting better and then suddenly I seem to slip backward. Grief makes me behave this way at times. And please don’t tell me you know how I feel, or that it’s time for me to get on with my life. What I need now is time to grieve.
~I need touch.  A hug, a squeeze of the hand or supportive arm around my shoulder means more than any words you could ever say.
~Most of all thank you for being my friend. Thank you for your patience. Thank you for caring. Thank you for helping, for understanding. Thank you for praying for me.

Unfortunate Statements- Please Avoid These

• Don’t cry, be strong.
• I know how you feel.
• You should be over the death of your baby by now.
• Get on with the future.
• It’s probably for the best.
• These things happen.
• You’re not the only one.
• God has a plan.
• Have another baby.
• You’ve changed.
• Don’t be upset.
• Life must go on.
• My friend ….or I know someone who…

Crabby Monday

Olivia was quite crabby this afternoon.  Not sure why but she was a grump...before her nap and after.  By dinner time she was fine.  She actually said, "I am ready to eat dinner!" She ate dinner and was fine.  We played some Little People and did some drawing.  She was a good helper and cleaned up!

Nothing too exciting today!

Georgia Apple Festival - Ellijay, GA

Being home for a month has been no fun.  So I suggested to Brendon we go do something fun.  The weather has been so nice...and yes the air conditioner is still on in October! So we looked at a few different things to do this weekend.  I really wanted to go pick apples in the mountains.  So we ended up going to the Georgia Apple Festival.  We got up pretty early and ate breakfast and left.  It took us about 2 hours to get there.  We wanted to get there early because Olivia is an afternoon napper.  So we got there and walked around.  There were lots of vendors selling their crafts.  I saw some cute stuff but to me it was a bit over priced and I could probably make the stuff at home.  We did buy 2 hair bows- a turkey and a candy cane.  Olivia went on a pony ride and loved it.  We bought some apples and a friend apple pie and kettle corn...yummmm!! We had lunch and then walked by the river a little bit along the river walk.

Olivia did great in the car and using the potty.  We brought her potty chair froggy.  She went when we got there, and when we dropped the apples off in the car.  Then the GPS took us the scenic route home and we passed a lot of orchards but they were crazy busy so we didn't stop.  Then we had to make one potty stop in a parking lot and then got home.  She finally took a rest on the way home for about 35 minutes.  So I am pretty sure she is ready for bed!!

Yellow fire truck!

On her horse!

Picking out her hair bows

Eating lunch...we brought lunch for her because of her tree nut allergy.  She did eat a few of my sweet potato chips though!