Running Errands? I don't think so

Well the past 2 days I had some errands to run.  Yesterday went ok. Olivia cried in the car while I went and picked up our pictures- both ways... made it a really long 15 minute ride twice! Thankfully on the way to Gymboree and home she did not cry! I thought YES- it was just a fluke yesterday.  So I uploaded some pictures and Christmas cards to Walgreens and thought I could pick them up.  I fed Olivia got all the stuff for the car ready...then got her buckled in and then it started again.  The crying and screaming.  I even tried turning the light on above her seat- I thought it was the darkness that scared her last night.  She had her toys... I literally pulled out of the driveway and got to the first subdivision and turned around- I know... I am a wuss.  But was it really worth the screaming and crying? Not really to me.  I guess doing those spur of the moment errands is not going to work out for a bit.  Another lesson learned. 

Checking out Runner's World

Going to be a runner!!

Go Dawgs! Great win over Georgia Tech!

Playing the bells at Gymboree

Caught in the act

Well I got caught in the act today! Usually I put my hands on things and just kneel but today I did a little more.  This morning I just grabbed things and kneeled.  This afternoon and evening I pulled all the way to standing! Mommy says she needs to clean off the whole table tomorrow so I don't pull all the books and magazines down.  I also went and did a little Black Friday shopping today with mommy and Kristy.  Then mommy did a big no no- she went through the car wash... I DID NOT like that at all.  I cried, and cried all the way to Publix.  Mommy felt bad for Kristy cause she had to listen to the crying.  Mommy is kind of used to it.  But Kristy was a great help at Publix and carried the basket with my formula and yogurt in it.  She is such a great helper.  I also ate more turkey tonight! I love turkey!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Today was our first Thanksgiving as a complete family! It was a good day.  Olivia woke up a little after 7:00 and Brendon let me sleep until about 8:00.  We had pumpkin pancakes for breakfast and Olivia did not want to eat her oatmeal and peaches! Thankfully I snuck them in with her yogurt for lunch! Lately she doesn't want her oatmeal and whatever fruit or veggie...weird... sometimes she woofs it down other times it is a struggle! Anywho after her morning nap and us browsing through the ads we Skyped with lots of people. We even took Olivia outside and tested out her swing today.  She loved it! Then while she took her afternoon nap, Brendon and I ate our turkey dinner.  We knew that we would not be able to coordinate us eating and Olivia eating at the same time.  We played some more, Skyped some more and then Olivia tried some Thanksgiving food.  I saved some plain sweet potatoes for her last night.  So she had sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes with a little gravy, and some turkey.  She did great! There was no fuss at all.  She seemed to enjoy the new food. So I guess if mashed potatoes or turkey are on the menu she will eat that with us! Overall it was a great day.  We feel so blessed and thankful for all that we have. 

Going towards the kitchen to check on daddy making pumpkin pancakes

chomping on some celery

Target Black Friday ad...anything for me?

Daddy and turkey

Mommy's little turkey!

checking out the turkey

Daddy's surprise for mommy and Olivia's 1st Thanksgiving card!

Jake likes turkey!

Skyping with Grandpa

Getting ready for turkey!

whoa...what is this?

Yummy!

Just one of those days that you wish you could skip...

Today was just one of those days that sometimes you wish you could skip over and just have tomorrow come.  It was a good day but not a star sticker award day.  It was 2 years ago today that Brendon and I found out that we lost our first baby.  We originally started this blog 2 years ago but it was never shared with anyone because we lost the baby.  I won't bore you with the details because most of you know the story.  But basically at 13.5 weeks my water broke and we lost our little one.  My doctor at the time said she had never had that happen in the 17 years she was practicing.  We were devastated.  All those hopes and dreams were gone in an instant.

How does one recuperate from this?  It is hard I will tell you that.  It doesn't go away like everyone thinks.  Talking about it is hard but also therapeutic at the same time.  It takes time, a lot of soul searching, forgiveness- to myself mostly because I felt a lot of blame towards myself even though I couldn't have prevented it, and strength to try again.  But it is probably one of the most difficult and painful experiences to go through in life.  But in the end it taught us a lot.  It taught us a lot about love, kindness and support from others- I don't think we would have made it through it on our own- My parents called us for 3 weeks straight everyday to make sure we were ok and give us strength- sometimes it was just my mom listening to me cry but that was ok because I needed to get it out- and I know I cried with a few other people- Karyn- I know we were crying in my garage as soon as I pulled in the driveway, Franki I remember for sure with on the phone and Sybil I remember praying with.  I believe it was the strength and support of others really helped. I thank Malissa for calling me and talking to me like a regular person and making me come out of my house! It was those small gestures that helped us heal.

Probably the best advice I got from several people is that I had to let go and give it to God to take care of.  I was so mad at the time that I had a hard time doing this.  I was mostly mad at God and myself. How could he be so cruel to take a life away from someone that wanted a baby so badly?  I felt like he was punishing me for something that I did wrong- but in the end I was only punishing myself.  I knew God had a plan for us.  It was a plan that we had no control of.  Probably one of the bible quotes that helped me the most was Jeremiah 29:11 - "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." I tried to remember that everyday to help myself.  I don't know exactly when I decided to let go but I did.  I knew God would take care of this baby along with all the other special people in heaven.

I have dreaded this day coming just as I did last year.  But I did better this year.  When I woke up this morning to the happiest little girl at 7:15 (I think she is the only happy person at this time) I just sat in front of her crib and watched her smile and play.  I told myself to try not to cry today and be happy with the miracle that we are blessed with.  Olivia truly is a blessing to us.   She fills our hearts everyday.  Even on a bad day, that little smile warms my heart- like today when she didn't want to eat her carrots or take a nap so I could make Thanksgiving food for tomorrow! But even still two years later I am healing and loving the life that we have. Randy Pausch said it best- Never give up: There are certain times that you think, “OK, you have beaten me down to my knees. And now the challenge is, I am on my knees and you keep on beating me down. And the question is, are you going to keep beating me all the way to the ground or will I find a way to struggle my way back on to my feet.”

Thank you Olivia for making today and everyday brighter for us! You are our miracle and blessing!

Play Date

Today we had a play date with some friends.  Ginny and Raegan, Malissa and Karson, and Dawn and Peyton.  What fun was had!!  It was interesting to get 4 different babies of 4 different ages together in one time period.  It was so neat to see everyone at a different age and what they are doing! There was some crying and lots of moving around.  Boy getting together with your friends is way different now! Karson was such a stud with all the ladies.  It was fun though! Hopefully during Christmas break we can do it again.  It was so warm today- I actually wore shorts and had to dig some shorts out for Olivia- thankfully she had these cute plaid shorts in her closet! It was above 75 degrees today and it was sooo nice, we wish it was this nice everyday!

Well... I can reach the table now

For some odd reason I licked Jake's crate.. I got a big NO from daddy!

Playing with Peyton

Playing with Raegan

Trying to get a picture of all 4 babies... Olivia was getting cranky by this point!

I am a little better...

I was doing belly flops on the Boppy this afternoon

8 Months Old

Olivia is 8 months old today.  WOW! It is still hard to believe.  She has gone from this little baby that needed to be held to this crawling mobile person!  She is at least weighing close to 18 pounds hopefully.  Here are some things that she can do at 8 month old:

Olivia can:

1. Drink water from a sippy cup while eating her solids.

2. Crawl on all 4s.  She can go from room to room following us. 

3. Pulling up on furniture.  I caught her pulling herself up on the coffee table and today I was on the computer and she was pulled up behind me on the chair.

4. She can boost herself up on our legs and hands. 

5. Sit up in the crib when she wakes up from napping or sleeping.  This morning when she woke up I went in there and she was all smiles sitting in her crib!  Such a nice thing to wake up to even if it is 7:30 a.m.

6. She can pick up smaller objects with her hands- balls, cups, blocks etc.

Here are some things Olivia cannot do:

1. Still has NO TEETH! Ugh... so over it.  But looking in my baby book I didn't get teeth until 9 months.  So if she is getting my teeth I pray for her... I had teeth that never wanted to fall out when I was a child. My teeth once looked like Dracula fangs when they got pulled.  Hopefully she won't have to have 17 teeth pulled like I did.

2. Still no real words.  We definitely have lots of sounds and noises.  We can tell when she expresses she is happy and sad. 

3. No waving.  We are working on that.  There is a lot of saying bye bye going on. 

4. Drink from the bottle all by herself.  Working on that... it is getting better.  She does better with her small bottle than her big one. 

Other then that she is just a happy baby! We feel blessed that she is so happy and likes to play all the time.  She loves to laugh and smile. 

Today we went for some pictures at a farm.  We hope they turn out cute.  There was no crying but you know how it goes to get a baby to smile on cue! Today we also found out that Larry Munson died.  He was the announcer of the UGA football games.  We were so sad.  Hunker Down heaven here comes Larry!

This is what happens when you try to take a picture when you are 8 months old...hmm what is this?

I will hold it and taste it upside down...

I will hold it but shake it up and down.

Yummm.... paper.

I will smile... just no holding a paper!

Trying out the stacking blocks.  Thanks cousin Laurie!

I will just taste them...

ok now to check out the tower... no need for the next picture... you know what happened!

Before Church

Today we went to church and I tried tights on Olivia for the first time.  It is getting chilly so we can't go with bare legs anymore.  I got some cute tights at Target the other day.  Today we tried the white ones that look like they have black shoes at the bottom- super cute! She did great.  They didn't bug her at all and were not too tight.  She was really good at church again and fell asleep towards the end and slept the whole way home (only 10 minutes) but then did not want to continue napping w\once we got home.  We did lots of playing today and watched some football. 

Here I am before church wearing my Scotty dog corduroy smock dress!

I had some crazy hair today!