3 Years Later and 20 Months Old

"It comes in waves. There's a lull and then another wave hits you. I just wanted you to know that its okay not to be fine sometimes." -Grey's Anatomy

I saw this quote the other night and that is about how I felt today.  Three years ago was when we found out my water broke at 13.5 weeks pregnant and that we were going to lose our baby. There were moments today when I was fine and other quiet times when I would have my wave of sadness.  I have to say it never goes completely away.  I still question what happened...but I think with the genetic information we now have, some of those blanks could be filled.  But it is still here in my heart and it lingers, just like any loss.  It did help to go for a run this morning and help clear out some of those thoughts and it seemed to help.  We know that God has a plan for us and we have learned so much. I learned about patience, hope, faith, and love. Probably the most difficult was patience.  Learning to be patient when wanting to become pregnant so bad, was the hardest thing to do.  But our patience did finally pay off.

On the flip side of the coin Olivia is 20 months old today.  She is my reminder of the blessings we have in our life. She truly is a miracle and a blessing.  We are so thankful to have her in our life.  She brings us so much joy and happiness.  Yes there are times of frustration but most of that is trying to figure out what she wants or needs.  And yes there is lack of sleep, especially in the last few weeks but we love every moment with her- the good and the bad.

 Here are some new things she is doing:

* Imitating lots of things- running, swimming, playing with dolls
* Can walk up and down the stairs on her own holding the wall or bottom of the railing.
* Saying so many words that I can't count. Ms. Liz at Gymboree was impressed by all her talking today.
* Likes to boss us around- mommy do, daddy do
* Loves to read- we have read several books many times!  Goodnight Moon had to be retired for awhile
* Still loves Sesame Street but has taken a liking to Mickey Mouse and Thomas the Train
* Loves music- sings parts of a few songs...Row, Row, Row your boat, Old MacDonald, Dust, Dust, Dust and some others
* Climbs on everything- she can climb in her high chair and waits to be fed
* Pretends to like to talk on the phone...picks it up, dials, says Hello? She will often ask me to call people or ask who was on the phone. But then when she hears the people's voices she stops talking. 
* Loves shopping- favorite stores are Target and Kroger.  She can even recognize the Kroger logo in the newspaper. She will even ask,"Shopping?" and then say, "Sit down in the cart." 
* She still is a good cleaner upper.
* Excellent memory- she knows landmarks in the car.  She knows where the goats, horses, cows, trian tracks, airport, the Gwinnett Braves stadium are when we are in the car.  
* Starting to relate things to size- big, small, loud, quiet.
* Counts to ten with support...but she has 6-10 down solid.
* Recognizes a few letters- O, E, G, and some others once in awhile.
* Knows her shapes- square, triangle, circle, oval, star
* Recognizes the moon and stars outside.
* Knows that it is dark outside, chilly, and that you can see the moon
 * Loves to be tickled! She even asks to be tickled.  
* Says, "Love you!" and gives hugs and kisses
* Finally got some teeth =)
         
 Tonight she did something funny...she said, "Swimming" and then started pushing herself all over the kitchen floor. It was hilarious.  I guess we have a future triathlete in the making. Last night running, tonight swimming, I guess tomorrow we have to work on biking! Ironman here we come!!