Mommy, You'll be OK

Those sweet words were said by Olivia today just when I needed them.

The past 2 weeks have been full of ups and downs.  I have shared some of what I have been going through with a few people.  It is painful at times to not share with everyone, but I almost didn't have enough information to share.  But let me tell you that I am one tough chick- calm, cool collected on the outside but a puddle of mush on the inside.  I am taking each day moment by moment.

But here is what has been going on.  I found out I was pregnant last week...wahoo so exciting. I just kept waiting and waiting and finally decided to take a test.  Then almost as magical as the test flashed pregnant, I started spotting....talk about the total opposite emotion.  Called the doctor immediately and they had me in for blood-work the next day. The spotting continued, went away, continued...got the test results and my levels were not high enough so I had to go and have more blood drawn.  As the weekend progressed I was feeling worse and worse and the spotting turned to bleeding.  After speaking with my doctor Sunday morning and her getting my test results it was confirmed that I was having some form of miscarriage- mostly a chemical pregnancy.  So the plan was to come in for more blood-work but I just felt like something was wrong...

Went in today for more blood-work, they need to make sure the levels go back to zero.  But I called earlier in the week and said there is something not right and I wanted an ultrasound.  Well I was somewhat right...and even today I didn't feel well. So what did they find...a cyst on the left ovary...which was concerning because they couldn't tell if it was a regular cyst or possibly an ectopic pregnancy- won't know about that until I get my blood test results back to see if they are going back to zero.  Then the doctor noticed the cyst and was talking about PCOS...that can't be confirmed until I have the PCOS test done in probably a month.  So right now I am just not a happy camper...lots of unknowns at the moment.  But my doctor has been wonderful as always and I really appreciate that.  She has gone above and beyond her duties as a doctor. 

So right now all I know is that I am ok because Olivia said so and I am sticking with that.  I am beyond blessed with all that I have at the moment. I have prayed a whole lot about this and I know that God has plans for us.