How do we keep our children safe?

Dear Olivia,

This was not the original blog post I was going to write.  Today was supposed to be a happy day.  It is Pepa's birthday and we were so excited about our friend Joan running the Boston Marathon.  But tomorrow the world as we know it will wake up different...again.  I am getting tired of that line...because we are saying it to frequently now.

I am sure your daddy didn't know what the day would entail when he dressed you in your Boston t-shirt from Susan this morning.  I was so excited to see you in it when you came to school today.  I was so proud that our friend Joan was running the Boston Marathon and we kept tabs on her progress all day until she finished.  But like Joan, who didn't know 4 minutes after she finished the marathon, tragedy would strike again.

Olivia it has me scared.  I am your mommy, and your daddy and I are your protectors.  There are so many things that I can protect you from and there are so many things that I cannot protect you from.  I want you to grow up in a world that is as magical as it is to you now.  You get excited about airplanes and birds and bubbles...life is so simple.  Life is so happy for you because right now you do not know about all the bad things out there...and it scares me.  It scares me to know that in the future you will know about those things...what am I going to say?

I admit...life is almost becoming a paranoia.  We are worrying about things that we never thought we would imagine happening and I don't know how to explain them or even process them myself.  The world is a scary place and little by little paranoia is taking it over.  We shouldn't have to live this way and I don't want to future to look like this either. I shouldn't have to be scared when I go out for a run and I don't want you to be scared that I don't return from a run.  But for some people today that fear came true. 

So my big question- how do we keep you safe? I really don't have the right answer to that.  As your mommy I can only do so much.  We cannot confine ourselves to our house and never leave...we have to get out in order to grow and learn.  But I do want you to know that we will do anything and everything possible to keep you safe.  We love you so much and all we want is for you to be happy.  You are growing so fast and I know time is not slowing down.  We want you to grow big and move mountains.

I hope one day that we can live in a world where people can get along and not have to worry so much.  But I know worrying is unavoidable because I am your mom, I will always worry about you- even when you are all grown up!

Love,
Mommy and Daddy