Kindermusik 2/9

Here are some pictures from Kindermusik last night!

It's in your genes

Yes talking about genes... and not blue jeans like you wear, genes that make up who you are.  I know it is late posting this but I have been thinking and rethinking of how to write this.  I feel like a phony, a fake, a liar... whatever you want to call it.  But it is something personal that we wanted to keep to ourselves until we knew more information.  So I will try to tell the story as coherent as I can since I am a bit exhausted from thinking too much.

Shortly after Olivia was born we got called in to the pediatrician's office before our next scheduled visit.  I knew right then and there something was wrong.  Doctors don't usually call you to come in, it is usually the other way around.  It was about her neonatal screening they did at the hospital- I even remember them doing it- I saw her little splotches of blood on the card.  Come to find out Olivia came back with a genetic marker for Cystic Fibrosis.  She has what is called a Delta F508 genetic mutation.  We did 3 sweat tests at Egleston to determine if she was just a carrier or if indeed she had the disease since neither of us knew of this running in our families.  The first test- she didn't sweat (she was only a week old).  The second test- they got 2 different readings - one from each arm.- one normal the other elevated  The third test finally came back in the normal range so they concluded she was only a carrier of CF.  We visited the CF clinic at Egleston and got lots of information- almost information overload.  So for awhile we really haven't thought about it.  In the back of my mind I wanted to know which one of us was the carrier to figure out all the genetics- I like doing all those Punnett squares.  Olivia has grown into a very healthy baby- there are some really early warning signs of CF which we never saw- salty skin and not passing the meconium (1st baby poop stuff).

So a few weeks ago we decided to go and get the testing done.  I figured, why not get this out of the way and then I can stop thinking about it.  About 2 weeks ago we went to the Emory Genetics lab and met with a counselor and an Obstetrician.  They reiterated all the information about CF that we already knew and the possibilities of how Olivia could have become a CF carrier.  We had the option of taking the CF only test or we could take a test that would also let us know 107 other possible genetic mutations we are carrying.  So we opted for the 2nd test.  So instead of giving blood, my least favorite thing to do anyways, we did a spit test.  We had to spit in a test tube like thing and fill it up about a 1/2 inch.  Seems easy right?  Not so much- the amount of saliva you have in your mouth really isn't a lot at all.  It took me a bit longer than Brendon but we got it done.  We have been playing the waiting game for 2 longs weeks.....

Finally today we got the call and it ends up we (Brendon and I) are both CF carriers.  The odds of that are so slim (1 in 400 carriers marry each other) but 1 out of every 25 or 30 people are CF carriers.  I am still in shock.  I expected it to be one of us, but both of us?  Geez God, I thought you were finished putting us through these trials for awhile.  So there is a lot to think about.  If we tried to have another child there are some different scenarios- 50% they could just be a CF carrier, 25% have CF, and 25% not be a carrier and not have CF.  The genetics counselor also gave us three options when we met with them before knowing the results- do IVF, do an IUI with a donor, or adopt.

Some heavy stuff right? So I guess you see what I have been thinking about.  I do want another child.  I know there are risks but now that we know some of this information I would like to use it for its benefits rather than its negatives.  I know that we are so blessed and thankful that we have Olivia.  I thank my lucky stars every day for her, but the lingering of the future in the back of my mind is there.  I am sure people are thinking, "Gosh, you have been through so much already, how could you think of trying again?" or even the negative thought of , "Gosh, your being so selfish" Its that thinking that keeps me going- I am not selfish by any means, I am a giver and would like to give another chance at becoming pregnant- not right this second though.  I loved being pregnant and love having Olivia, but I am not will to close the doors to my future just because I am a carrier of CF.  I am not a quitter and I can't quit on myself. 

So I am ending this entry with the Bible quote that I remind myself of daily...
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"

Just a TAD Fussy

Olivia had a great morning at her daycare- Susan said she only cried when I left.  Olivia was pretty tired on the way home and took a little cat nap.  I decided to call the doctor on the way home because she has been a little stuffed up the past few days and can't clear it and I saw her tugging on her ear.  She has also had a drippy eye.  The eye will clear for a few days and then be yucky.  So after lunch today Olivia and I went off to the doctor.  She was REALLY good for the nurse practitioner and let her look in her ears, eyes, and mouth without a fuss.  There is no ear infection- keep on using the humidifier, Vicks Vaporub- on chest and feet, and clear any mucus if we see any.  The eye we got drops for and if it doesn't clear in a few weeks we need to go see an opthamologist and they will have to perform a procedure on her tear duct! Yikes.  So we will be massaging the duct and putting the drops in.  She took a very short nap while I worked on some snacks for our Valentine party (Thank you Pinterest for some great and easy ideas!) The rest of the night was spent whining, crying, and fussing.  Thank goodness Brendon was home to help.  We took turns with the crying.  She ate some mashed potatoes and mixed veggies for dinner with a few pieces of meat.  We tried to get a picture of Olivia in her Sabres jersey but that didn't happen to well.I hope tomorrow goes a bit better than today! I am exhausted!

My favorite book is about to fall apart!

Playing with my baby!

Olivia looks like a hockey player!

Oh Jake! We love you!

Brendon was trying some things out and took a panoramic picture of part of Olivia's room- too bad she was in the hallway!

We have a woodchuck

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck
if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Well we will let you know since Olivia is a woodchuck and is gnawing on her crib! Brendon showed me the 2 sides of the crib and he said he could actually hear her gnawing.  So I looked online at crib rail covers- super expensive.  Then Duh!!! I used her bumper that doesn't get used! I will get a picture of it tomorrow but basically I folded it in half along the railing and tied it.  I had to use some extra stuff to tie it.  But for now that is working. This afternoon I wasn't feeling so hot- major headache and then Olivia topped it off by throwing up some of her carrots tonight.  Not sure why... but she seemed fine.  So needless to say it was an interesting afternoon and evening!

Barely hanging on with that elbow!

Not a lot of naps Monday

Olivia was not the fan of napping today.  Brendon had a hard time this morning getting her down and she didn't want to nap after Gymboree today.  Since she did not nap this morning she wasn't the most active participant at Gymboree. But she was alright there and then she took a cat nap in the car on the way home.  Tonight she tried mixed vegetables and some pasta tonight and she did great.  Also after dinner she stood on her own for about 20 seconds! She was of course distracted by holding something but she stood there all by herself!

You can kind of see the teeth!

Going for a tube ride!

Baby soccer!

Bubbles

Eating table food!

Action shot of eating!

Checking out what is in the recycle bin

Relaxing in daddy's chair!

Super Bowl with a Baby

Well this year was way different than last year.  Last year I ended up with SUPER bad heartburn after the Super Bowl and probably Olivia was quite mad at me for eating wings last year.  This year it was different with Olivia.  Trying to get her fed before the game and cooking at the same time.  Also eating during the game... we had to use the exersaucer so we could eat.  Which isn't horrible since she still kind of likes it.  But I missed most of the 2nd Quarter and the half time show taking care of Olivia and giving her a bath, bottle and down to bed.  I don't mind- It is just part of being a parent and my job.  Responsibility becomes more important than football games- it is just a game! It will be on next year with different teams.  There are more important things that take over the superficial things- like having that quiet moment with her when she is drinking her last bottle and watching her giggle and smile when I put her in the crib.  So Madonna sorry I missed you...maybe next year.

Swinging on this beautiful day!

Carrots for dinner...no snacks for me!

Playing in the saucer watching the big game!

Drinking from my cup!

One tired pup!

This is how you eat during the Super Bowl!

Olivia picks the winner for the super bowl