I haven't been this tired and so weary in a LONG time. Days blend together, my Google calendar keeps me on track and my forever to do list is always getting items crossed off and added. The laundry piles are endless and the dish washer is either full or being filled.
I am so happy for my favorite author Stacey Thacker and her friend Brooke McGlothlin to republish their book, "Hope for the Weary Mom." They added 4 new chapters...and one that speaks to my heart about mom guilt. I have mommy guilt every day as I rush Olivia to daycare, rush to work, try not to think about what she is doing all day- Does she miss me?, then rush to pick her up to spend time with her. My favorite moment this week, "Mommy, can you teach me how to read this book?" I was so tired but I said yes.
When I get quiet moments I pick up the book- like gymnastics practice after I am done grading papers, writing this while Brendon took Olivia to the craft at Home Depot, it gives me time as a mom to know that I am not the only one who feels like they are epically failing at this mom job.
I have learned a lot about myself, especially Chapter 2, I learned that I am somewhere in between being an introverted doer and relater. Probably my favorite quote is at the end of the chapter:
"We weren't created to be good at everything, but we're great at some things. So let's vow to let God use us effectively in those areas, and fill the gaps with His grace and good friends. Don't complicate your life wishing you were someone else. Be good at who you are- who God made you to be. Know who God says you are, and trust him to fill in the gaps. Let go of what you're not, and hold on to what you've got."
I have to say this week this became real at work. Our grade level was a bit stressed- lots of deadlines, lots to do. A coworker of mine said, "I wish I were you, you are so together, you never stress." I told her it may look like I am all together on the outside but on the inside I am a hot mess...I try to not let things at work bother me, they will get done, lessons will get taught, and children will learn. But we were all tired this week and we all had our fair share of tears, one thing we had in common is that we are moms, teachers, and friends and all a little bit tired and weary this week.
Looking forward to this week and choosing more hope in my little realm of the world.
I have to say I bought this little stone a few years ago when I needed some hope in my life...needless to say it comes in handy some days...
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